Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
