it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
