Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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