My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
