Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
