Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
