Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize