i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
