I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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