Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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