shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize