I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
