her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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