When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
