Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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