Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize