Sponge bath it is.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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