Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
