I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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