yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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