So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Pants are for mortals
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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