saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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