I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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