just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
