I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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