i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
