I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
my penis made a compromise with my morals
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
