; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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