if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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