He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
