He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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