Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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