im drinking this country out of the recession.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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