I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
