And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Let's get the cat blown out
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
