Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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