Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
