I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize