That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
