Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
