I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
