I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
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