I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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