All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
