Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize