Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
