my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
