one might say we're banned from that church
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
