my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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