My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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