I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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