Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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