Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!

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(513): View more from Ohio

Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.

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(510): View more from California

Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order

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(478): View more from Georgia

Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!

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(706): View more from Georgia

All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.

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(917): View more from New York City

Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.

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(516): View more from New York

Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno

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