i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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