OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
