Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
