In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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