butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
