Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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