I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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