He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
